Wendy & Peter Pan Read online

  Pause.

  WENDY. I’ll fix this, I promise. I’ll think of something.

  TIGER LILY. Sure you will.

  WENDY (screaming to the skies). Peter!

  TIGER LILY shakes her head.

  TIGER LILY. That boy don’t care ’bout anyone but himself. As I said – you’re on your own. Everyone is.

  DOC SWAIN enters.

  DOC SWAIN. ’Ello ’ello ’ello. It’s time for you two to see the Captain.

  DOC SWAIN exits with WENDY and TIGER LILY. The LOST BOYS, MICHAEL and JOHN all come charging in again. It’s riotous fun, they are playing catch with a little toy pirate ship.

  PETER. Last one to the tree trunk is a loser!

  The BOYS ignore PETER, still angry at his earlier prank.

  Hey? Want to hear what I did to Hook? What to hear how he screamed?

  The BOYS all dash off. MICHAEL gets left behind, he’s holding the toy boat. He stops.

  MICHAEL. Wait a second – where’s Wendy? Peter? I haven’t seen Wendy for ages.

  JOHN (shouting back). Come on, Michael; don’t be a loser!

  MICHAEL charges off after the others.

  Scene Two

  The Jolly Roger, a terrifying barnacled and battered ship, sails on, and sits low in the dank lagoon. Mist hangs in the air, black unctuous water gulps at its hull. HOOK stands on the prow, looking out into the gloaming night. The rest of the PIRATES sit mournfully across the aft.

  SMEE. Captain?

  HOOK. Leave me, Smee.

  SMEE. It’s just – there’s a rumour amongst the men that – well, Jones just came back off of firewood collection and he seems to have seen…

  HOOK. Do not let the next word that comes out of your mouth – be –

  SMEE. Peter?

  HOOK swings round, furious.

  HOOK. Dead? Was he dead?

  SMEE (high-pitched, terrified). Well…

  HOOK. Jones! Jones!

  JONES (to MARTIN). I told you to keep your blabbering little /

  MARTIN. / But in the interests of improved communication and transparency –

  HOOK grabs JONES by the back and the neck and forces him down onto the floor. He holds a sword at his neck.

  JONES. Was it me you were after, Captain? How can I help?

  HOOK. Out with it.

  JONES. Alive, sir. Yes.

  HOOK. What?

  JONES. A-a-a-alive. I saw him with me own eyes.

  HOOK. But I put my hook through him.

  JONES. I – I don’t know, I – just – I saw what I saw.

  HOOK. Was he limping? Was he crawling around like someone about to die? Someone on the verge of death?

  JONES. He was, um… laughing, Captain.

  HOOK. Laughing?

  JONES. And – playing?

  HOOK slams his sword into the deck, missing JONES by an inch.

  HOOK. Bring me the girl!

  SMEE. Really, Captain? But she’s such a moaner.

  HOOK. Bring me the girl!

  The PIRATES drag WENDY onto deck. She’s now dressed in a glorious dress, spoils from some unlucky princess. She’s bound and gagged but defiant, resisting them all the while.

  Shh, shh, shh – careful now, you’ll ruin your pretty dress.

  HOOK removes WENDY’s gag.

  WENDY. Give me back my nightie.

  HOOK. That old thing?

  SMEE. That took me ages!

  HOOK. But you look so… glamorous.

  WENDY. I don’t want your stupid dress or your gold or your grog – I want – I /

  HOOK. / Yes?

  WENDY clams up and looks at her feet, she’s biting back tears. HOOK lifts WENDY’s chin, gently, with his hook. Oh, sweetheart, I know how hard it is when you care about people and they disappoint you. You care about Peter very much and he didn’t fight for you, did he?

  WENDY. I don’t want to talk about – (Whisper.) Peter.

  HOOK. You had so much faith in him and he just let you go. Didn’t he?

  WENDY nods tearfully.

  Your poor poor heart – no one ever understands quite how much it hurts, do they?

  WENDY shakes her head.

  Oh, darling, but you know – it was wasted on a little boy like that.

  WENDY. He does care – I know he does, it’s – it’s my fault really, I – I kept moaning and I – I should have just been less boring and had more fun but I couldn’t – I – I just so wanted to find Tom and everyone was just playing all the time like it didn’t matter and no one would listen to me and so I didn’t have any choice but to seem un-fun and now – now I just wish I’d /

  HOOK. / Shh shh – come on, there’s no use in should-haves. It’s not your fault. Wendy, why is it that Peter Pan never has to grow up – but you have to be Mother right from the get-go?

  WENDY. I – I don’t know.

  HOOK. It doesn’t seem fair to me.

  WENDY. No.

  HOOK. And why is it – do you suppose – that there aren’t any Lost Girls?

  WENDY. Peter said girls were too clever to get lost – too wonderful to fall out of their prams. He said one girl was worth more than a thousand boys.

  HOOK laughs.

  HOOK. Oh, petal, come on. You’re smarter than that, aren’t you?

  WENDY. Don’t laugh at me.

  HOOK. They got tired of taking orders, and patching knees and cooking breakfast – tired of running round after little Lost Boys who always did what they wanted and never had a second thought for anybody else. They were tired of being told what to do – by Peter Pan. When he didn’t give two hoots about them. You really can’t blame them for leaving. Just like you did.

  WENDY. The pirates told me you’d killed him. That you’d killed – Peter.

  HOOK (goes in close – trusting, conspiratorial). Wendy?

  WENDY. Yes?

  HOOK. Peter’s alive.

  WENDY (inadvertently throws her arms around HOOK). He’s alive! He’s alive! Is he okay?

  HOOK. He’s fine. He’s – playing.

  WENDY. He’s what?

  HOOK. He’s laughing and playing and having a nice time.

  WENDY. I don’t believe you.

  HOOK. If I was lying – he’d be here, wouldn’t he? He’d be here trying to save you.

  WENDY. Um – I /

  HOOK. / Wouldn’t he?

  WENDY’s head drops, defeated.

  WENDY. Yes.

  HOOK. But he’s not.

  WENDY. No.

  HOOK. So tell us where he is, Wendy. Tell us where their home is.

  WENDY. I can’t.

  HOOK. If you tell us where we can find Peter then I’ll tell you where your brother is.

  WENDY. You’ve seen Tom?

  HOOK. Where’s Peter?

  WENDY. Promise me – promise me that you know where Tom is.

  HOOK. I solemnly promise.

  HOOK offers WENDY his hook to shake.

  WENDY. Maybe if I saw Tom then I could be sure /

  HOOK. / Wendy, if you’re going to stay here, with us, you’re going to have to learn to trust me. In fact – tonight, why don’t you have the night off? Just for once – why doesn’t Wendy have some fun? Hm?

  WENDY. Well – I /

  HOOK. / Strike up the band, boys! Wendy is aboard and in need of a party – LET’S GET DECADENT!

  The ship bursts into full swing – it’s uproarious. WENDY is flung from pirate to pirate, she’s wild with glee – it’s delicious. They stomp and dance and cheer. WENDY stops a moment, suddenly melancholy. She looks at the button around her neck.

  Wendy – come and dance!

  WENDY. No, I /

  HOOK. / What’s the matter?

  WENDY. Why, if you have everything you want to be happy, do you spend all your time chasing Peter?

  HOOK. Dogs, bring Wendy some more grog!

  WENDY. No – no, actually I’m feeling a bit – (Mimes puking.)

  HOOK. Come and dance.

  WENDY. No I really –

&nb
sp; WENDY mimes that she’s about to puke on HOOK.

  HOOK. Yep, okay – over the side. Sort yourself out and back in the game.

  WENDY exits to the back of the boat.

  WENDY. Mm-hm.

  HOOK (calling after her). I’ll make you another drink.

  WENDY sits alone, confused. SMEE takes HOOK to one side.

  SMEE. Captain, this ain’t going to work, she won’t give ’im up.

  HOOK. I made Mother Teresa dance on tables, Smee. Wendy is a thirteen-year-old girl.

  SMEE. But it’s – it’s her ’eart. I think she… cares for him, Captain.

  HOOK. Can you imagine it? Caring for someone else so much that you’d be willing to die for them? It’s /

  SMEE. / Amazing.

  HOOK. Pathetic.

  SMEE. Just think of it, Captain. If you cared for someone – right deep down in your bones, who would it be?

  HOOK. God, I don’t know. You?

  SMEE. Me? You care for me? Oh, Captain – it’s been such a long time I’ve been wanting to /

  HOOK. / Don’t be absurd, Smee – I meant – who would you choose?

  SMEE. Oh – I don’t know.

  SMEE quietly hits his head repeatedly against the mast.

  HOOK. Listen, if it’s good-hearted that’s the problem – let’s see how she fares between a rock and a hard place.

  SMEE. But a rock is a hard place?

  HOOK slaps SMEE hard around the face. SMEE loves it.

  HOOK. Get me a Scotch and a doughnut, Smee… I’m hatching a plan!

  SMEE leaves HOOK alone to look out to the horizon. WENDY sits at the other end of the ship. MARTIN approaches.

  MARTIN. You all right? You should probably get back to the party, Hook don’t like a loner, makes him nervous.

  WENDY. Oh yes, of course – I’m just washing my – hair – I /

  MARTIN. / It’s okay – listen – (Pathetic, mouthwash-gurgling sounding.) Argghhhhh.

  WENDY. Is that your argghh?

  MARTIN (checks no one is listening). Grog makes me sick, bruise like a peach, faint at the sight of blood. I don’t fit, neither.

  WENDY gives MARTIN a big hug. MARTIN is a little confused.

  WENDY. Mother always says ‘follow your heart’ and ‘trust your instinct’ – but it’s so difficult. Hook is the first person that seems to actually understand how I feel but somehow Hook and the pirates and all this seems wrong – and Peter – Peter left me for dead. Of course he doesn’t care, Wendy, you stupid – but when I think of him and him being all – (Welsh accent.) ‘Oh hello Wendy’ – I – I /

  MARTIN. / Go all wobbly inside?

  WENDY. Yes.

  MARTIN. You can’t say clearer than wobbly.

  WENDY. But he’s out there laughing and playing when he thinks I’m dead!

  MARTIN. That does seem a bit off.

  WENDY. All the characters in the stories that Mother reads have this moment where they listen to their heart and they just know what’s true and they know what to do and – I – I keep having these very serious talks with myself – ‘Come on, Wendy – just decide’, but my feelings won’t stay still. Martin, I think I’m made wrong.

  MARTIN. Okay, okay – wait – slow down or you’re going break your head. Look, stories are written by people that already know the ending, they go back and fiddle with the middle to make it match afterwards; they’re cheating. When you’re right in the middle – no one knows their aa-aardvark from their elbow.

  WENDY. But if you don’t know what’s right then what do you do?

  MARTIN. You know when you’re in your hammock and it’s dead early in the morning and you’re all cosy and warm?

  WENDY. Yeah?

  MARTIN. And you stick a toe out – and God Almighty, it’s freezing out there you think ‘no way’. And then your brain gets all fizzy – ‘I should get up’ ‘I will’ ‘I can’t’ ‘I must’ ‘I won’t’ ‘come on’ ‘bog off’ ‘shake a leg’ ‘give over’ – you’d go mad – but right then – boom! You just jump out, both feet – and you’re up and ‘oh look – it’s quite a nice morning actually’ or ‘blow me I can’t feel me bits’ – but either way, you’re up and there’s no getting back in. Sometimes things just don’t bear thinking about – you just got to do. Do. Do something, anything – just do.

  WENDY. You’re a very wise pirate.

  MARTIN. But that’s just it, Wenners, I don’t reckon pirates are meant to be wise.

  WENDY. Maybe everyone is made wrong.

  MARTIN. Or maybe we all just ain’t in the right place yet – we’re in the middle – and when we get to the end we’ll be like ‘oooohhhh yeah – now I see.’ It’s like with me, you see – I once overheard Smee and Hook talking about how Lost Boys come to Neverland, how they land here.

  WENDY. They land? Land from where? Martin – you have to tell me!

  MARTIN. They just drop down from the sky and I suddenly thought maybe I’m meant to be a Lost Boy and not a pirate; maybe I just landed in the wrong place.

  WENDY. How do they land? What makes them /

  MARTIN. / When Lost Boys get lost, they become stars –

  HOOK approaches.

  HOOK. Wendy!

  MARTIN. No wait, shh /

  WENDY. / Stars? Keep talking, Martin, what do you mean?

  HOOK. Wendy, darling!

  MARTIN. And they don’t land on Neverland until their families /

  WENDY. / Until their families what? Until their families what, Martin!

  HOOK. I’ve got a surprise for you.

  WENDY. Oh I still feel a little bit sicky.

  HOOK. Now!

  WENDY. Martin? Martin!

  HOOK. Martin, go and clean the poop deck. Wendy, it’s time for your initiation.

  WENDY. An initiation?

  HOOK. A test – of loyalty – so that we know you care about us as much as we really do care about you.

  WENDY. Of course I /

  HOOK. / Where can we find Peter?

  WENDY. I – I don’t know where he lives.

  WENDY does the sound of snotfrogs.

  SMEE. What the burglemaloo was that?

  HOOK. Sweetheart, that’s a lie, isn’t it?

  WENDY. No. (Snotfrogs.)

  HOOK. Bring out the Picin Princess.

  HOOK turns and reveals TIGER LILY. She’s bound and gagged – and held by the PIRATES.

  WENDY. Tiger Lily.

  WENDY dashes forward for TIGER LILY, but HOOK holds her back.

  HOOK. You must stop wasting your affection on those that don’t deserve it. It’s terribly weak of you. Lower the plank, men.

  WENDY. What are you doing?

  TIGER LILY. Wendy – I’m not your fight.

  HOOK. Tell us where Peter Pan lives or we’ll kill Tiger Lily.

  WENDY. No – you can’t.

  HOOK. We can.

  TIGER LILY. It’s okay – you got your family to think about.

  HOOK. Hold her over the water, chaps.

  The PIRATES suspend TIGER LILY.

  Come on – quick-quick, or else the croc will come and make the decision for you.

  WENDY. He lives – um – he lives – can I think about it for a moment /

  HOOK. / Kill her!

  WENDY. He lives /

  HOOK. / Kill her!

  The PIRATES start to push TIGER LILY over, but just in time…

  WENDY. He lives in the Home Under the Ground – beneath the five trees in the clearing in the Never Forest.

  SMEE. I don’t believe it! You hard-hearted little madam!

  HOOK. Well done, darling, well done! Come to Hook!

  HOOK opens his arms to WENDY. WENDY stays stuck still. SMEE walks toward HOOK.

  Not you, Smee.

  TIGER LILY. You saved me, over him?

  WENDY. Course.

  Some silent agreement passes between the two girls.

  Ready?

  TIGER LILY. Always.

  WENDY. Jump.

  TIGER LILY. Jump.

/>   MARTIN. Jump! Jump!

  WENDY. We have to get there before they do! Jump!

  WENDY suddenly charges at TIGER LILY, who barely understands. WENDY grabs TIGER LILY’s hand and launches the pair of them over the side of the boat.

  WENDY/TIGER LILY. Aahhhhhhhhh!!!!!

  HOOK. Stop them! Stop them!

  MARTIN. You jumped – you jumped! You little hero!

  All the PIRATES turn on MARTIN, swords brandished.

  Oh. Bum. Wendy, wait for me! Nobody puts the cabin boy in the corner!

  MARTIN runs and leaps off the plank after TIGER LILY and WENDY.

  HOOK. Don’t just stand there! Get me to shore! Get me to that clearing!

  HOOK, the PIRATES and The Jolly Roger exit.

  There’s nowhere left to hide, Peter. I know where you live.

  Scene Three

  The Home Under the Ground. PETER is full of energy. The others are lagging, scared – unnerved by the change in PETER.

  PETER. His eyes are so wide with being afraid – these little bits of white at the corner of his mouth cos he’s so tired, trying so hard, breathing so fast, panting and panting – but I keep stabbing – stabbing –

  PETER jabs at the BOYS. They gasp and push back.

  Stab! Stab! And he can’t even get his hook out in time he’s just swiping and swiping and trying but – I’ve got him on the back foot and pow! Pow! Pow!

  PETER holds the sword up to NIBS’s neck, his eyes are wild, he’s panting.

  And I’m going to slice him in two – right there – that close, his skin all yellow – teeth all brown –

  PETER takes breath a moment, silence in the camp. The BOYS slightly afraid.

  MICHAEL. Peter? Where’s Wendy?

  PETER. I – was flying – I was so fast – so fast – I was like a bird – like a wolf and I’m telling you he was so – scared – so slow – and – and /

  JOHN. / Did you – did you – kill Captain Hook?

  MICHAEL. Where is Wendy?

  Pause. The BOYS look at PETER, their eyes wide with expectation, their faces hungry for drama.

  PETER. Ha! Ha ha! Ha ha ha!

  PETER takes out his harmonica and starts playing a killer tune. His feet are thumping, he’s leaping, spinning, he crows. The BOYS all crow back. They all kick off – it’s wild – foot-stamping, thigh-slapping. PETER is wild with it, spinning round and round. He entrances the BOYS who chant ‘Peter! Peter! Peter!’ PETER goes and goes, he’s exhausted but he can’t stop, he won’t let himself stop – he must keep having fun for fear of remembering. He spins and spins – he stumbles. The BOYS try to keep cheering but the younger ones start getting a little afraid. PETER goes and goes – he stumbles, he’s panting – he tries – he’s got nothing left – he tries – he grabs his side, he dances a little – he stands – he pants. The BOYS have stopped cheering.