Wendy & Peter Pan Read online

  Go! Go!

  NIBS. Peter?

  PETER. Lead the training! We’re going to fight – GO! We’re going to kill Captain Hook because we’re boys and that’s what we do – we’re pirate-fighters!

  NIBS. Peter, are you –?

  PETER (vicious). What’s the point in you being Second Captain if you can’t take an order, Nibs?

  Beat.

  NIBS. Come on, boys – grab your weapons, to the clearing.

  The BOYS exit. PETER stoops, his hands on his knees, he’s exhausted. He grabs his side, looks to see if there’s blood. He sits, breathless, collapses. PETER notices the bottle of medicine on the floor.

  PETER. Lost Boys don’t need medicine or mothers. (Slams the bottle down on the side and clambers up to TINK’s bedroom.) Tink! Tink! Wake up – it’s party time! It’s pirate-hunting party time!

  TINK. I’m sleeping.

  PETER. Come on – wake up!

  TINK. Where are the boys?

  PETER. In the clearing already – let’s go!

  TINK. Pete?

  PETER. Hurry up.

  TINK. Your face – it’s all wet.

  PETER. No it’s not.

  TINK. Your eyes are all red.

  PETER wallops TINK and runs away.

  PETER. Tag!

  TINK. No you don’t!

  TINK chases after him round and round.

  Come here, you little –

  They stumble and end up rolling around on top of each other. They end up with their faces very close to one another. TINK is prepared for the kiss that she’s always wanted.

  PETER. Do you want to make a plan?

  TINK. What? We never make plans, plans are boring snoring, Pete – remember?

  PETER. Yeah – they are. You’re right.

  TINK. How about a crazy dance – you know – like –

  TINK goes mental – funky-chicken sort of rock-out mash-up. PETER looks a moment and starts to laugh. They play together, it’s funny – it’s fun. Then PETER does the same monkey impression he did at WENDY the night she arrived.

  That’s not dancing, that’s monkey! Silly!

  PETER. Oh, is it?

  PETER stops dancing.

  TINK. Don’t matter though! We can both be monkeys!

  TINK pretends to be a monkey, but PETER looks at her like it’s not quite right.

  How about I – um – I tidy up – or – make some breakfast or – gosh – there, looks like that trouser-knee needs patching, pass it ’ere, I’ll have it done in a jiffy.

  Beat. PETER holds a thimble out to TINK.

  TINK. What is it?

  PETER holds the thimble out again.

  It’s a thimble?

  PETER shoves the thimble back in his pocket and sulks in a corner.

  What did I /

  PETER. / I stole some of your fairy dust.

  TINK. I know, mate.

  PETER. I keep playing and playing but – I – I can’t seem to have a happy thought. I think I’ve forgotten how to forget. I did a bad thing or – I did a – I – had to – I tried to /

  TINK. / She’s not dead, Pete.

  PETER. What?

  Beat.

  TINK. I’ve seen her.

  PETER. Are you – are you telling the truth?

  TINK. Yes.

  PETER. Tink! Tink!

  PETER leaps for joy – runs around, can’t control himself, it’s real relief. TINK stands quite still and watches.

  Where is she?

  TINK. She’s on The Jolly Roger.

  PETER. Is she all right?

  TINK. Yeah.

  PETER. They haven’t hurt her?

  TINK. No.

  PETER. I’ll just apologise, I’ll explain – I’ll just say, I’m sorry for leaving you to die at the hands of pirates and she’s bound to understand. It’s going to be all right, Tink! I’m going to get Wendy back! I’m going to get her back! (Picks up the medicine and is about to glug it.) Lost Boys do need mothers and they will take their medicine! I promise, Wendy, I promise!

  TINK (grabbing the medicine from him). She was in some swanky dress dancing the ‘’ornpipe’ with a boatload of pirates.

  PETER stops suddenly.

  PETER. What?

  TINK. Saw her doin’ the hokey-cokey with ’ook ’imself; she was laughing.

  PETER. Laughing?

  TINK. She looked… happy.

  PETER charges for the door, TINK steps in his way.

  No, don’t, Pete – you’ll make a monkey of yourself – you turn up there and she don’t want saving and Hook’s going to laugh right in your face.

  PETER. She was dancing… with Hook?

  TINK. No – you’ll look like a ’naana.

  PETER. Move, Tink.

  TINK. I’m saving you from yourself.

  PETER. Get out of my way –

  TINK. Pete, no!

  TINK throws a lot of fairy dust in PETER’s face. He stumbles, he swoons – he falls down. TINK kneels next to him, putting down the medicine bottle by his side.

  Uh-oh – I think I used a bit much – Pete? Come on – wakey wakey – it’s just a bit of fairy dust – I’m sorry – I – oh bum, he’s out cold. Pete? Pete? Oh, what have I done? Come on, Pete?

  There’s a noise in one of the entrance trees. TINK dashes over.

  Oh no, it’s the boys – now, Nibs, it’s going to look bad but – (Freezes.) that don’t sound like Nibs… that sounds like… (Dashes back over to PETER.) Peter – you got to wake up, you hear me? You got to wake up now, Peter! Oh no – I’m so sorry – (Looks around her desperately, there’s someone at door.) Go small, Tink – go small – I can’t I’m too full of ’fraid. Oh, bum.

  TINK exits. HOOK enters, cautiously, his sword raised. He sees PETER.

  HOOK. Look, he sleeps – his precious medicine from Mummy right by his side.

  HOOK raises his hook ready to swipe at him but can’t somehow. He stops. Bends down close to PETER instead.

  What lurks in that empty-seeming head? Are you still so much a boy that you can sleep soundly? Even when the night-time comes – when all is quiet – you are not yet plagued by worry?

  Is your mind still kind to you?

  PETER murmurs.

  Or no, listen – is there some anguish here?

  I don’t want your life, Peter – I don’t want your charm – I don’t even want your youth. I want your time. Give me your time. Time again – time to make mistakes, time to be unsure – a time when errors were lessons and not failures. When things could still turn out all right; when hope was not so foolish – oh, Peter – you lucky thing – take me back to endlessness… take me back to a time before I was aware of time.

  HOOK lifts the medicine bottle.

  Three drops of poison and he’ll never wake again. Dream, Peter, dream.

  HOOK puts the poison into the bottle, leaves it by PETER’s side and exits.

  PETER sits bolt upright, a little woozy. He reaches for the medicine and goes to glug it.

  PETER. Wendy.

  TINK bursts out of the cupboard and knocks the medicine from his hand, they both go tumbling.

  Stop it! Tink! Give me the medicine! It’s not a game!

  PETER grabs it back and goes to drink it. TINK grabs it.

  TINK. No, Peter /

  PETER. / It’s from Wendy, I want to /

  PETER grabs it back off TINK and puts it to his lips.

  TINK. No!

  TINK grabs the medicine again and glugs it down.

  PETER. Tink? Tink, your – your light is going out. Tink? Tink! Please don’t die, Tink… please. (Pause – thinks.) I need children to believe in fairies, it’s the only thing that will bring her back. (Drops to his knees and appeals to the audience.) To all the boys and girls that are dreaming of Neverland – listen, please – if you believe she’ll come back to life – if you believe in fairies, clap your hands – please, we must save Tink – clap your hands!

  PETER keeps his eyes shut and claps his hands furiously
– he uses all his might and energy. The audience begins to clap, as hard and as fast as they can. Tiny LEDs have been placed around the audience so, as the children clap, it seems that fairies are hidden in every seat, that they are nestled between all the children. For a moment the stage suddenly seems full of fairies, before – whoosh! – they are gone. The lights are out – the fairies are alive and well and off to new adventures. TINK springs back up to life.

  TINK. What’s going on here then?

  PETER. I thought you were dead.

  TINK. Oh, that – ner – barely a hiccough.

  PETER. I don’t think I should play with any more girls. They all seem to die.

  TINK. I’m so sorry for running off, I was so scared and I /

  PETER. / You just saved my life.

  TINK. And you saved mine.

  PETER. Of course I did. You’re Tink, you’re my fairy.

  TINK. Oh, Peter, that’s /

  PETER grabs TINK and gives her a huge hug.

  Pete?

  PETER. Yeah.

  TINK. Go and save Wendy. Go to The Jolly Roger and save her. I’ll tell the boys – we’ll follow. Go. Quickly.

  PETER hugs TINK once more and leaps out of the Home Under the Ground – he’s on a mission.

  TINK stands a moment, she sniffles, wipes a tear from her eye.

  (To audience.) Shut up – I got some’ink in my eye that’s all – it’s nuffink. (Sniffs again and turns honestly to the audience. Tries to smile, shrugs.) Just the way the cookie crumbles, eh?

  There is a sound at the entrance to the Home Under the Ground.

  Scene Four

  TINK. Peter?

  WENDY enters.

  Oh, it’s you.

  WENDY. Hook is coming. We have to warn Peter.

  TINK. Too late.

  WENDY. No? No – what do you mean, too late?

  Beat.

  TINK. Too late.

  WENDY. Tink?

  TINK. He’s en route to The Jolly Roger to save your skinny arse.

  WENDY. He’s not dead. Hook didn’t kill him.

  TINK. No thanks to you.

  WENDY. But wait – I’m not on The Jolly Roger – I’m here.

  TINK. Quite the intellect – haven’t you?

  WENDY. John, Michael – the boys?

  TINK. They need to be told – I’m going now –

  TINK goes for the door.

  WENDY. No – no, wait – we need to stop a second and think.

  TINK. Now is not the time for thinking.

  WENDY. Yes, yes it is – we can’t just go charging off – the pirates are much better armed than we are – we need to be smart. We need to stop a second and /

  TIGER LILY (entering). / Wendy –

  TINK. Oh, invite the whole island, did we?

  TIGER LILY. Hook isn’t in here?

  WENDY. I said stand guard.

  TIGER LILY. Is Peter dead?

  TINK. You want to try saying that without a smile on your face, babe?

  WENDY. No, he’s not dead – he’s gone to The Jolly Roger.

  TIGER LILY turns and goes for the door.

  TIGER LILY. Peter can’t get there first. Hook is mine.

  WENDY. No – wait! Please.

  TINK. I need to go and tell the boys.

  WENDY. No wait. Both of you – wait a second! I just need to think /

  TIGER LILY. / Wendy – get out of my way.

  TIGER LILY tries to leave. TINK steps in her way.

  TINK. Easy, Tiger.

  TIGER LILY. You just try and stop me.

  WENDY. We haven’t got time to bicker.

  TINK. Bicker? Some little tiff, is it? We’re going to have to rebuild our home!

  WENDY. I had to tell Hook, I had no choice!

  TINK. No choice? Nice dress – bet that cost a bob or two of dirty pirate money.

  WENDY. I might have made a tiny slip – but /

  TINK. / Oh, a little blab, did you? Lack of oxygen up there on your high horse?

  WENDY. High horse, me?

  TIGER LILY. Wendy, we need to leave.

  WENDY. You tried to kill me!

  TINK. No I did not.

  WENDY. Yes you did – Tootles told me.

  TINK. Oh, get over it.

  TIGER LILY. I’m going.

  TIGER LILY and TINK both try to get to the door and WENDY stops them.

  WENDY. No – no – no no – I’ve had it with this island. I don’t get it – I don’t get why the boys get to be friends and have fun and – but we – we have to be against each other. Why? Why can’t we just get on?

  Because the truth is – I’d love to be strong and quick and fight like you, Tiger, or be all – (Makes a noise, a gesture that indicates ‘grr’ and great and bolshy and brilliant like TINK.) like you. I’d like to be like you – but I’m not.

  Those pirates are tough and trained and if we’re going to beat them… I need you – Tink, I need someone to control things from the sky – Tiger, I need a marksman with your kind of aim and speed and strength. I need you both.

  Pause.

  TINK. I’m going to find the boys.

  TINK makes to leave the Home Under the Ground.

  TIGER LILY. She is standing there offering you friendship when you’ve been nothing but unkind to her.

  TINK stops.

  I’ve fought wars – I seen things, Tink, but you know what? Lonely is the hardest thing there is.

  Long pause.

  TINK. I just don’t understand why everyone likes you so quick when I’ve been around for ages.

  WENDY. Tink, the boys – they’d be lost without you.

  Beat.

  TIGER LILY. They – they are lost.

  TINK. They’re – they’re Lost Boys.

  TIGER LILY and TINK smirk, smile at each other, try not to laugh.

  WENDY. It was an unfortunate choice of words.

  TINK/TIGER LILY (mocking WENDY’s posh accent). ‘It was an unfortunate choice of words.’

  WENDY. Okay, all right – here’s what’s going to happen – we’re going to be a team. We’re going to go to that pirate ship and we’re going to find my little brother and we’re going to kick some pirate – bum – and I – I will be Captain. Who’s with me? I said – who’s with me?

  TIGER LILY puts her hand in the middle of the gang.

  WENDY puts her hand in the middle of the gang.

  TINK puts her hand in the middle of the gang.

  Team?

  TIGER LILY/TINK. Team.

  WENDY. Let’s go and kick some /

  TIGER LILY/TINK/WENDY. / PIRATE BUM!

  The three of them roar – it’s a battle cry, it’s solidarity, it’s brilliant. TIGER LILY gets the weapons chest and they kit up. TIGER LILY exits. WENDY exits.

  TINK looks about the Home under the Ground, wondering if she’ll ever return.

  MARTIN enters.

  TINK wields fairy dust.

  TINK. Back off, you rancid little /

  MARTIN. / No – no, I’m not a pirate /

  TINK. / Who are ya?

  MARTIN. I’m M-Martin. I’m with Wendy – I followed her – she said get a sword.

  TINK raises her hand to get him with fairy dust.

  Listen – (Pathetic.) Aaaargghh.

  TINK. Oh.

  MARTIN. Nice wings.

  TINK. Oh.

  MARTIN sneezes all over TINK.

  MARTIN. Oh gosh – I’m so sorry – I –

  MARTIN tries to mop up TINK but sort of dabs her boobs and gets all of a muddle.

  TINK. ’Sall right, love a sneezer.

  Love happens.

  (Offers him a tissue.) Come on, snotty – there’s work to do.

  TINK and MARTIN exit.

  Scene Five

  In the misty twilight of the clearing, the BOYS are sparring – covered in war paint and dressed in forest-made uniforms, they are sweating, they are training hard. SLIGHTLY dashes in.

  SLIGHTLY. Pirates just entered the forest! They’re on
their way!

  NIBS. We need to move out.

  MICHAEL. But Peter isn’t here yet.

  JOHN and NIBS face off, looking askance at one another.

  JOHN. Someone’s going to have to step up.

  NIBS. That they are.

  JOHN. Wonder who it’s going to be?

  NIBS. I wonder.

  JOHN. Who indeed?

  CURLY. Well… I think it’s going to be one of you two, isn’t it?

  JOHN and NIBS aggressively put their fists out as if they’re going to fist fight. A beat. Tension before the first punch – and then they play rock-paper-scissors. They draw, choosing the same thing. There’s wild tension, they both reach for their swords when… MARTIN comes tearing out of the undergrowth. The BOYS round on him.

  BOYS. Kill him!

  MARTIN. Stop – I’m not a pirate – I’m not – (Panting, can’t catch his breath.)

  JOHN. Nice try, you barnacled, blundering buccaneer!

  MARTIN. Listen.

  MARTIN does an ‘arrgggh’ – it’s pathetic. The BOYS put their swords away.

  BOYS. Oh.

  MARTIN. I’ve been trying to find you for – I’ve got a message from Tink /

  JOHN. / Come on, deep breaths.

  MARTIN. It’s my asthma, it’s – woo – okay – okay – Hook captured Wendy.

  BOYS. No!

  MARTIN. But then Peter arrived.

  BOYS. Yes!

  MARTIN. But then Peter didn’t save her.

  BOYS. No!

  MARTIN. But then Wendy saved herself and Tiger Lily!

  BOYS. Yes!

  MARTIN. But then Wendy told Hook where the Home Under the Ground is!

  BOYS. No!

  MARTIN. But then Hook didn’t kill Peter!

  BOYS. Yes!

  MARTIN. And then Peter went to fight Hook!

  BOYS. No!

  MARTIN. But now we can all go together and help them!

  BOYS. No!

  MARTIN. No, that’s good news, you should cheer –

  The BOYS back away from MARTIN. MARTIN is confused. From behind MARTIN, out of the undergrowth, come the PIRATES.

  They’re behind me, aren’t they?

  MARTIN turns around and joins the BOYS – they draw their swords.

  DOC SWAIN. It’s going to be like taking candy from a bunch of babies.